Sunday, July 11, 2010

Closure! Thats what I'll call it today

NOTE:Before you read this I'd like to make it CLEAR this is not me talking shit on Dylan James Laing, despite some "friends" lack of knowledge about my feelings for Dylan this is just me venting and trying to let go. I'm not dwelling on the bad times, nor am I gonna sit back and let them ruin my life. Dylan taught me more about life then high school and my 18 years of existence before him. He's been my best friend, I'm lost without him at this point. I am confident though he has taught me enough to be able to guide my own way while he's gone.
Goin through my photobucket
didnt even realize that was dylan.
this just made my day

idgaf I miss my BestFuckingFriend
the only person that can make me laugh no matter what
lol I just think about some things and laugh

"my ear feels red"

but along with greatness theres sadness
you may be able to cover up some things with your ability to control me and the fact that youd give your life for me, actually you almost did for my family and myself.

I could write a book about this boy
probably could make some money off of it too
point is;
in some cases love can be deadly
i gave myself for you
you gave yourself for me

we loved eachother
...then you went to jail. thee end.
two months before you even got arrested I cried millions of tears over you
cause we both knew youd go away
it was just the question of when
3strikes your out.
my life is more important though
we've lost a lot together
i can let go cause i know youll be okay this time
i actually told this all to my mom, she cried.
cause i cared too much
ill forget the hate and lies and hurt and keep the great things youve taught me and the so many memories that can keep me laughing for hours

your gonna spend 3-to what ever year sentence you have thinking about me everynight, and i wish i could take that away for you. Cause i'm out here in the real world trying to forget about you, finally i feel like i can move on. It's taken me so long to get to this point, its unreal and so scary. I'm so sorry everyday your going to look at your wrist and see my name and not be able to erase it, i know you wouldnt even if you could. But we both know I deserve something better, 3 years isnt life but I'll experience what I can and move on from our past. If somethings meant to stay alive it will no matter how far we run from it.

its been the hardest thing not to send you the 20+ letters ive already written you, but what could you do when you read my venting and my hatred for you leaving again?
make more broken promises?
"i promise in 3 years things will be better"

The best of my days will be some of your worst, we both know that.
Thats life though
when a heart breaks it doesnt break even.
time to let go, move on.
ive gotten everything i possibly could out of our relationship
do your time, learn and grow up
when you get out, find the girl you want to give the world to

[this shoulda been a blog, i didnt intend on writing so much]

xoxoAlways Have Lettuce

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